Planty of fun!
by snoipinsagoodjobm8
Summary: Sans puns the shit outta Flowey.
1. Flowery Fun!

Flowey sat glumly, snug in his dirty, cracked, red pot. He craned his head up, meeting with the unnerving eyes of Sans.  
"Go away, Sans...I hate you to no end..."  
"Hey hey hey, what's STOMATA with you?" Sans smugly replied.  
"I swear to Chara's soul I will violate you with my vines if you don't leave me the flower alone-"  
"Jeez, plant people are pretty RADICLE, huh?"  
"GGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH JUST LEAVE ME ALLOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNN-AH!" Flowey bellowed in his flowery-fury.  
"Wow man, why do you want me to LEAF you alone so badly?"  
Flowey stared at him with stone cold eyes, biting his lip so intensely that it nearly bled in his unholy rage.  
"What, you don't wanna be my FROND?"  
Three, slim vines erupted from the small bed of dirt and hovered menacingly over Sans.  
"iwillstrangleyouwithanhonesttogodsmileonmyfaceyoubaffooningpieceofshatskeleton"  
"Well darn, no need to be so MOSSY to everyone!" Sans giggled with manliness.  
"ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff"  
Mettaton then walked in, in all of his shiny metal glory. He brushed his singe off of his eye.  
"If you're going to bad talk so many people, I guess I won't allow you to be in my fan SHRUB!" Mettaton punned, cleverly.  
The skeleton and robot high-fived.  
"D O N ' ' . . ." Flowey said, his face melting into a terrifying expression of anger. The green tendrils flowed forth, ramming themselves up both Sans and Mettaton's butthole, eventually wrapping around them, enfolding the walls with plant tentacles.  
"Golly gee! My vines just pass RIGHT through you!" Flowey said playfully. Neither the skeleton nor robot could talk, as their necks were swathed with vines, and their mouths tucked full with vines violently deep-throating them.  
"Wow! You guys don't seem so happy now, with my vines wriggling inside you! Guess you just have to DILL with it!" Flowey said, as the pace of the rapidly-thrusting vines quickened inside them. Tears welled up in Sans eyes, and oil in Mettaton's, as they were raped mercilessly by the plant.  
"I just PLANT seem to help myself!"


	2. Vexing Vengeance

Papyrus stumbled into the kitchen, chef's hat fumbling 'round his pristine skull as he collapsed down, tugging onto Sans jacket flaps desperately.

 **"** _ **Gulp,**_ **ghh, S-Sans! Y-Y'gotta help me Sans, all day, my fine Italian cuisine, somehow foiled again-** _ **cough cough**_ **-by the unknown demons that haunt, and wish to destroy that of which is my hard earned foreign nourishment,** _ **gack**_ **, the arrested development of my nutriment, has unconscious tend to always occur to me; indeed some sort of unruly force is wreaking the most inconcievable, mischievious havoc upon my admirable, noodly fare! The former, most fiendish foe, ceases to cease, as through some specious retribution has been placed on me, this foe, so unknowing-for I, the** _ **Great Papyrus**_ **,-have negated any possiblity, through and through, to have ever comitted any crime, even** _ **petty**_ **! I have nary defied any rule, set for justice! Assist me Sans, for we must further foil the foiler to foil any more foil-ation from this aforementioned foiler!"**

"Hang on, Papyrus, what're you saying?"

 **"** _ **Cough,**_ **M-My knees are weak, bones are heavy, sauce's on my hands already, MY Spaghetti!"**

"Damn straight, Pap! I'll find that piece of crap guy and pummel him until he has a brand new anus! B-R-B, Papyrus!" Said Sans, his eye erupting with blue, fiercely glowing.

 **"GGNN! WAIT! I KNOW WHO MUST BE DOING THIS!** _ **FLOWEY!**_ **That good-for-nothing botanical baffoon, he must be behind this substandard sabotage! Sans, by no means of force must you fight this flower! No one in the WORLD likes your puns, perhaps you should verbally vex him into despair using your puniness!"**

"Holy Moley! You're right Pap, I'll go to Toriel's house right now, I think that's where Flowey is. I'll avenge your spaghetti at all costs!" Sans feigned an over-heroic attitude, as to replenish Papyrus's hope. Sans walked with corny zeal out their bungalow, and ventured forth unto the path to Toriel's house.


	3. Perpetrator's Promise

Flowey felt weary and lonesome after sitting on the edge of the kitchen counter for a good 3 hours. His eyelids slowly heaved down, and his head sagged forth, when he heard quick paced steps creep along the floor. Out of the lving room and into the kitchen came Frisk, hazel hair ruffled and twisted, and bags under his eyes.

"Frisk, what're you doing? Weren't you at, um, Pap's house or something?"

" _Was_ , at Pap's house. I'm not gonna explain why I look like a went through a war-zone, just...if you can, summon some vines or crap, and mess up Pap's spaghetti, okay? It's complicated and involves me resetting a few times because you wouldn't do it before, so just trash Pap's spaghetti," Frisk sighed. " _Any way, you can._ Just **trust** me on this one, okay?"

Flowey scoffed. "Whatever, Frisk."

"O-oh and also, make sure you just get Sans or Mettaton to leave you alone, okay?"

"Just go away, I'll do it, whatever."

Frisk searched through his pocket, and set a jelly bean on the counter next to him.

"You've been a decent person today, Flowey."

He walked off.

Flowey glumly looked downwards for another minute, when he heard heavy footsteps enter the room. He craned his head up, meeting with the unnerving eyes of Sans.

"Go away Sans...I hate you to no end..."

"Hey hey hey, what's STOMATA with you?"


End file.
